The other day, sort of in preparation for Christmas, I went into my boys’ room with two big plastic totes and the trash can.
We went through almost every toy they own.
I asked them “keep or sell?” and they would respond.
I didn’t have high expectations going into this. I had two main goals: 1.) clean up their room which had been a complete wreck for a few days and 2.) letting them know that I would respect their decision over their own things.
To my surprise they filled two BIG totes with toys to donate or sell. Some of which we bought not long ago. In the middle of the process I walked by my husband and reported “they have filled TWO big bins!”
He responded, “of course, they have no attachment to things!”
In a way I think he meant it like they just don’t care about their things… but it made me think.
I started thinking about how pure and untainted we are when we are children. How many of the things we expect and believe as adults are things that were learned growing up.
When we were born we didn’t have an attachment to things in any way: good or bad.
When we didn’t have any expectations, it was fairly easy to keep us content as long as our basic needs were met.
As we grew, we learned attachment and expectations and disappointment.
So I wondered, where does it start?
It’s been an ongoing dialogue with myself and my husband for the past few days.
Why do we feel like we HAVE
to give gifts at Christmas?
Granted this comes from a “question-all-the-things” kick I have going on, but bare with me. 🙂
First of all, I LOVE giving presents. I CANNOT imagine a Christmas without presents…at least not yet.
I have wonderful Christmas memories at my grandparents’ house with tons of presents for everybody and remember how fun it was to pass them around!
I also believe that a present needs to meet at least one of these two “rules”:
1.) I know it is something you really really want/need or
2.) I saw this thing and I knew you would just LOVE it!
Giving a random thing just because it’s Christmas and we are related or know each other seems to miss the point….in my opinion anyway.
As I thought about what would make good presents for the boys this year, I kept coming back with…nothing.
They don’t need anything and as for what they want well, they want EVERYTHING for about 5 seconds when they see it at the store. They just don’t have an attachment to things.
So, how can I help them not develop a strong attachment to stuff?
I’m not talking about alternative gifts or lists of specific presents that limit the amount of stuff. I’m not even sure that I have come to a solution or decision!
Maybe the answer is to do what feels right at the time and reevaluate every year with intention, awareness, and purpose.
A year ago I even wrote a post about giving toys for Christmas!
So…Maybe I’m overthinking it and it’s just all about the memories and the moment and something bringing you or your kids joy if even for a few minutes. Maybe, maybe, maybe…
I’m not trying to tell you what to do or that you are doing something wrong.
