Self-care for the single mama, yes seriously…


We’ve all seen the morning and evening self-care routines on Instagram and TikTok and if you’re like me may have thought, “Who seriously has the time for that?” As a single parent and busy mom, I thought self-care was out of reach. No way could I start every morning slowly savoring my overnight oats, sipping perfectly blended matcha green tea while writing two pages of intentions for the day before going to the gym for an hour. This notation of self-care continued until I found myself absolutely needing to look further into its benefits.

A few months back, I was completely worn out, tired with extreme fatigue and just not myself.  I knew something had to give and my wise mother, reminded me, “You can’t pour from an empty cup, Melissa. You need to make time for yourself and what you enjoy.” So, taking her advice, as I usually do, I made a list of small things I could do to nurture, recharge and strengthen my mental and spiritual health. It may not be a full day at the spa or girl’s trip to a fabulous vineyard in Fredericksburg, but I did start making my self-care a priority and most importantly not feel guilty about doing so. I’ve learned that by incorporating self-care into my routine I’m a happier, healthier and more relaxed and fun mom. Below are a few tips if you’re ready to incorporate some self-care into your life. Enjoy, you deserve it mama!

Quote about Self Care

Tip 1: Make a list of things you love. Whether it’s places you like to go, activities you like to do and anything else that harnesses happiness, ignites excitement or flutters your soul with simply feeling good. For a lot of us when tasked with listing what we love and brings happiness, we’re likely to say being with our children. And as beautiful as that is, sometimes you may need some you time. Remember how you used to paint? Maybe signing up for one of the many paint (and sometimes pint 😉) nights that are occurring around our city will spark that passion again. Not only will this be something for you to enjoy and reconnect with yourself, but you can always go back and share that experience with your kids. With a list of “Loves,” it’ll be easy to pick and choose what you’re not only in the mood for, but actually have time for. 

Tip 2: Schedule your self-care just like you schedule the budget meeting at work, your daughter’s ballet lessons or attending your nephew’s birthday party. For me, if I don’t have it on my calendar or scheduled for a specific time of the day it won’t get done. Laundry or cleaning out that drawer may get done with a few extra minutes in the day, but for me won’t be as satisfying as calling up a friend for a quick chat over coffee. You get my point. Schedule your self-care and try your best to stick to it. You are worthy of that time.

Tip 3: Keep an eye out for specials! Follow a few local spas or whatever interests you on social media to get notified of upcoming deals. Try that free yoga or ballroom dance class! You may love it and meet some great people. I love a good facial, but with back to school around the corner spending hundreds of dollars on one just isn’t going to happen. I recently saw a local listing by a prestigious spa in town that was offering a Hydrafacial regularly around $600 for $97 for new clients. I’m booked for next week! We know that glow of course from within, but honey a facial can’t hurt, right? When you see a good deal, book it!

Tip 4: Connect with your Spirituality- My faith is a big part of my life and well-being. Sometimes it just takes going to church or meditating to get back into alignment. Other times, I might update my vision board or make a gratitude list. Being aware of my thoughts and emotions better equips me how to handle certain situations and see things in a new perspective. Whether you pray, meditate, practice positive affirmations, attend church, whatever it is you do to connect to your higher source, make time for it. I mentioned positive affirmations and gratitude lists. On Sunday nights or the night before a big meeting, I like to leave a note or scripture on the Keurig.  Try by setting the timer the night before and awaken to not only a hot cup of coffee, but a “warm,” inspirational message to start your day. Setting aside some time to connect with your soul can lead to a calmer, more positive and authentic version of yourself.

Image of a Coffee Cup that says "it's official, you're awesome" and a post it note stuck to the coffee pot that reads: "You are blessed and highly favored! You got this!"

Tip 5: Leave the guilt at the door. So what if you don’t run to Target during your lunch hour and instead grab a quiet lunch and journal. I did just that today and yes, got my iced matcha green tea!  And you know what? Target had everything waiting for me at my curbside pick-up after work. Win, win. Have you ever been in the middle of a pedicure and thinking of all the errands you should be running instead? The time and money were spent whether you allowed yourself to fully enjoy that moment or not. Savor the moment and try not to second guess your decision. You can’t be peaceful and guilty at the same time; the choice is yours. You must maintain a sense of self in motherhood.

They say the most important project you will ever work on is yourself and hopefully this quick post is a helpful reminder that you are deserving of taking care of yourself- a project in progress, a masterpiece in the making, a multi-tasking, going a mile-a-minute mama. ALL that love, nurturing, and grace you give to others, don’t forget to send some your way too! And because we’re all classy ladies here, gracefully receive it.  😉

Sending you luck and love on your self-care journey!



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