I’m going to let you in on a little secret about me… Oh, who am I kidding? Anyone who has known me longer than 5 minutes knows I am a perpetual worrier – a hypochondriac as I am called by some.
In fact, I am the self-appointed President of my own Hypochondriacs Club.
My mom used to hold that position, but since I’ve had children, I have assumed that role. I don’t know if I should be proud or if I should go ahead and double up on my counseling sessions.
My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t know how to worry. He goes through life, just living it, and says he will worry when the time comes for him to do so. He is the yin to my yang, but I don’t understand him. Envious of him, yes. But able to comprehend a mind that doesn’t worry? Not so much. Needless to say, it leads to some really interesting and annoying late-night conversations when I am asking him to reassure me that the hangnail I have will NOT, in fact, turn into gangrene, requiring me to get my pinky toe amputated.
I know, he is a saint…or maybe just stupid for putting up with it, but either way, he’s stuck with me! Sorry, honey!
Like I said, having children has definitely put my worry into overdrive. I mean, now I have 2 more people to worry about. And, them being crazy, rambunctious boys doesn’t make that any easier. I, however, cannot put the blame on them. I can only blame Google and WebMD.
Do Google and WebMD not understand what they do to people like me?
I look up reasons for a cough and runny nose for my 2 year old and sure, there are the obvious diagnoses…cold, allergies, and such, but there are always, and I mean always, those dreaded diagnoses. The ones that give me full-on sweats and bubble guts. I know what you’re thinking…”Really, Kathie! Get a grip. A runny nose is just a runny nose and 2-year-olds get them all the time.” At least, that is what non-worriers think (so I’m told), but for those of us who spend our lives worrying, our mind just goes to that dark place, whether we want it to or not.
Luckily, there is one person in my life who is greatly benefiting from my neurosis.
That would be my kids’ pediatrician. Those $25 a pop co-pays really add up.
I think, by now, with 2 kids, I have brought her 30-year mortgage down a few years, and who knows, maybe even given her hopes of putting in a pool one day! It’s just that I really like strong, valid answers for my kids having certain symptoms and only a trip to the pedi’s office can assure me there is nothing major going on. Fortunately, she humors me and always puts my mind at ease, even if she does secretly think I’m bananas.
I totally get that I need to loosen up, chill, and for the love of all things holy, stop freaking out over every little bump, bruise and runny nose. I don’t intentionally seek out to be like this, it is just how my mind was wired. Lucky me! Thankfully, counseling helps. Worrying has also helped me come to realize that no person, myself included, will help me fully overcome this. For me, only my trust in Jesus will. However, knowing this is one thing. Fully relinquishing control of my worries to Him is another. But I WILL do it and I’m certain He will help me.
I know getting over worrying will not happen overnight, and I will probably always struggle with this. I also know this is something I have to work on, especially since I don’t want to pass this worry gene on to my kids… assuming it’s not already too late.
mini me oldest son had a pain in his foot recently and asked me if it was diabetic nerve pain. He’s 6! Thanks a lot, you darn medication commercials! You’re as bad as WebMD and Google!