Yes, like any mom when my daughter started playing soccer I wanted her teams to win. I wanted her to feel good about winning. Yet, I also knew that she would have to lose. She would play teams better than hers. She would face players more skilled than she is.
I am actually OK with her losing more than winning. I know. I know how that sounds, but let me explain.
Winning is great feeling and all, but life is about so much more than winning. Everyday, people lose more than they win. Winning doesn’t teach you anything, but losing does.
I want my daughter to be able to hold her head high at a loss. I want her to know, without a doubt, losing doesn’t mean she’s not good enough; it means that it wasn’t her time to shine.
We all love those moments in the sun, but I want her to know how to handle the rain. I want her to hold her head up when she loses the game, doesn’t get her dream job, or doesn’t get accepted to her dream college. I want her to know that she has to work hard to “win,” and that anything worth having is usually the hardest to obtain.
She wants a medal in sports? Practice, practice, practice. Give 110%. You want the job? Work hard. Don’t get it? Wipe yourself off and try again. Don’t get accepted into the university you want? Keep at it. An education can happen anywhere.
I want her to know that the only thing that makes a person lose, is quitting. There is never a reason good enough to quit. I always tell her, “Winners never quit and quitters never win.” The road to any success is full of potholes, but if you take the opportunity to look around the road to success can be as wonderful as you make it.
I am raising my daughter to take on the world and that means that she needs to know that fighting the battle is more important than the outcome. Losing doesn’t make someone a loser, it makes one a fighter, a trier, a believer, and a doer. You have to do something to “lose” and as long as you gave it your all, you fought hard, you believed in the possibility of the impossible happening, and you did something about it; no matter the outcome, you are a “winner.”
This is why it is important to me that she loses, and yes that means I want her to lose more than she wins. I want her to know that trying and failing is WAY more important than succeeding.