The Mommy Hiding Place

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“Mooooom. Mom. Mom? Mom! Mom!”, sometimes I think my daughter wakes up with a quota on how many times she must say the word, “Mom” in one minute.  I love her and I love being her mom, but if she says “Mom” one more time, I might snap!

Between work, dinner, homework, Girl Scouts and life in general, my life can be crazy.  There are just some days when I need about five minutes of silence so I can process and plan how I’m going to manage life just for that day or the next five minutes! That’s when I seek out my mommy hiding space.  You know, the place where you go to think for a bit or eat something delicious without your kids seeing you because you know it’s gone once they see it?  For some moms, it may be the bathroom, your bedroom, or even a closet.  For me, it is my car.  Misty Mitsubishi (Yes, my car has a name. Doesn’t yours?)  I don’t know what it is about my car, but that is my own private little place. 

My hiding place is weird, and maybe unconventional, but it helps me to keep going. Days, weeks, and months may speed by, but time stops for a few minutes when I sit in my car. 

I know cars have windows and that the windows are entirely transparent, but when the windows and doors are shut, the noise from the outside world is gone.  

Mornings in my car have become ritualistic.  Every morning I drive my daughter to the school bus stop and once the bus drives away with her it’s me time.  I pick up my morning coffee, put on my Pandora station and drive to work. Those ten minutes I have alone in my car are life-changing.  For those ten minutes, I’m Vanessa.  I’m not mom, I’m not “babe,” I’m not Mrs. Feltner.  I’m me. I’m proud of my titles;  I’ve earned all of them, but wearing those titles all day, every day, can sometimes be exhausting!

There have been times when this morning routine was skipped and my soul craved it.  I didn’t start my day off well.  I was a bit grouchy and didn’t feel like myself until lunchtime.

Growing up, my mom used to joke with us and say, “My name is George.”  We would laugh at her and thought she was just a crazy old mom, but I get it now!  My hiding place provides me with that break that I need to get myself together.  Our mommy hiding spaces are important.  Our families unknowingly demand so much from us at times that it can be draining, and it’s not like we can go on vacation to get away and recharge.  It’s important to have alone time whether it’s ten minutes or two hours. We have important jobs and need the opportunity to alone in my car , so we can be the best moms we can be.  

If you have a hiding space, please tell me about it.  Is it as weird as mine or better yet, even weirder? If you don’t have one, get one!