I remember being single and thinking it was so annoying how often my parent-friends would post about things like potty training or poop in general.
My bad, y’all. This parenting thing is a literal POOP SHOW.
I don’t think there’s anything anyone could have said or done to prepare me for the amount of excrement I deal with on a daily basis as a stay-at-home mom of 3.
Yellow poopy diapers on the 3-month-old every few hours.
Poop on the toilet seat from the newly potty-trained 3-year-old.
Wipe said 3 year old’s butt.
Put everyone down for a nap.
3 month old is gassy and fussing, so he won’t nurse or sleep.
3-year-old claims he has to poop…but really just wants to get out of bed. 🙃
2 year old won’t lay down. Why not? Oh, there’s POOP all over his bedding because apparently he’s been saving all the poop from yesterday and today for this exact moment so it explodes all over him and his bed. Excellent. Love it. Fantastic. Wonderful.
3 month old is still fussing. Poor baby is probably going to cry it out now. Not great.
Carry 2 year old to the bathtub and clean him off. Now I’m missing the removable shower head from our old apartment. That thing was great for hosing them down after a poop-splosion.
”Awww, honey you’ll miss this someday. The days are long but the years are short!”
”……………ok. Well, right now I’m sanitizing the tub…soooo….”
Get him all clean, remove bedding, yell at my 3 year old for nagging about water while I’m wrestling a poop-covered sheet, treat the laundry, 3 month old is asleep now. Get the water and apologize to everyone for yelling. Receive hugs and “it’s ok, Mommy.”
Take out the poopy trash, clean the kitchen, and enjoy a few moments of peace until someone wakes up.
Probably to poop.
I need a coffee.
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