Separate but together- A Co-Parenting Journey

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So let’s face it mamas, not everyone chooses to become a single parent. I do not think most people wake up one morning and say, “Hey, this family thing, I want to do it solo.” I know there are many stories of loss and betrayal and trust me, I have some of my own. However, when I made the conscious decision that I would thrive more as a single parent { because honestly, I felt like I was most of the time anyway} there was a huge weight lifted from me. No longer did I need to put energy into trying to fix something that was broken. Also, chase a version of my life that never seemed to come easily. Instead, I could turn that energy around and focus on my daughter and myself.

Wait, am I allowed to do that? Yes, of course!

Co-Parenting

Please, don’t get me wrong, I want my daughter to have her father in her life and for them to have a close relationship. In my humble opinion, the more people your child has in their life that love and encourage them the better. It never dawned on me that we could both do that together for her but separate from each other.

I did not have to be the glue that held their bond together. Maybe I even got in the way of it sometimes because I thought I knew how it should go.

Read this carefully, a failed relationship does not equal failed parenting.

When the love between two people is no longer there, it does not mean it diminishes for their children. You did not give up, you didn’t need to try harder or read just one more self-help book, you simply needed to let go of what was not meant to be. Accept and with time, maybe appreciate that this person will always be in your life, but it does not have to be as your romantic partner. For me, I want my daughter to see her parents happy, succeeding in life and peaceful- even if on their own for now.

Being a single parent is HARD, but chaotically beautiful. There are no breaks, no sick days, and you generally have an audience even while you’re showering! At night, I pray for God to give me twice the energy, twice the patience, and twice the finances. And you know what? He does. I also get twice the hugs, kisses, cuddles and I love yous. I am truly thankful for those that have joined my little tribe and helped Gianna and I not survive but THRIVE in this new dynamic.

Co-Parenting

My co-parenting journey is only beginning and we three have a lot to figure out, but we have a solid base-the love for our daughter. Maybe the foundation for our relationship was unsteady, but coming together separate but together for Gigi, well now that is a pretty solid structure that I’m sure we can build on.

 

 

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Melissa Palacios is a Corpus Christi native and loves raising her daughter Gianna in South Texas near their family. Melissa enjoys taking her daughter on walks, performing duet Disney Karaoke, learning new recipes and has recently started doing yoga and meditation with her mini me. Melissa has recently accepted a new position as the Volunteer Coordinator for the Buccaneer Commission and is excited for this new chapter. She is a proud member of Girl Scouts of Greater South Texas, The Islander Alumni Association and the Texas Jazz Festival Society. When she’s not planning themed dinner parties, she loves to explore the Coastal Bend with her daughter, sip coffee outside with friends and plan weekend getaways with her family.

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