Growing up I was taught to speak my mind. Of course, this also means I was taught when to speak my mind: “A time and a place”, my grandma would tell me.
All of my family is like this. Sisters, aunts, great aunts you name it. Communication is so open and such a big part of my family. This is more than likely why when I was in high school I found a passion for communication, social media management, and public speaking.
Recently there was a family issue that stemmed from someone not liking something that I said. Granted, this is not the first time someone in my life did not like something I said. This was the first time that it was blown way out of proportion.
As soon as the issue was brought to my attention I knew there was no diffusing the situation from my end. Anger has a way of turning anyone who doesn’t immediately and 100% agree with you into another problem. Others were brought into the conversation and due to them not villanizing me the issue was blown up even more.
I let my husband know I was not going to engage. Meaning, no communication. I was not going to put myself or anyone else who was unnecessarily brought into the non-issue in a place for more unnecessary arguments.
Openness in shadows is nothing more than gossip and negativity. If you think you can say something negative about someone without them ever finding out, you are naive. I am thankful for those close to me who are supportive and do not let me go on assuming someone is a friend while they choose to start unnecessary issues by speaking fallacies.
Now, due to the fact that I am no longer comfortable being around or speaking with these individuals I was also not comfortable with my son doing the same. My husband fully supported this.
At the end of the day, no matter what, you have to protect your family. Not your extended family. You, your spouse, and your children. Putting yourself through the stress and anxiety of being in the presence of those who do not support or respect you is not something your children need to see.
I will not censor myself for the comfort of others. Neither should you.
I am going to leave you with one of my favorite quotes.
“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.”