I had the amazing privilege to grow up surrounded by 5 grandparents. It wasn’t until I was 25 that I lost my first Grandmother. This past month I lost another grandmother and my life remains “off kilter”.
I think what hurts the most is that my children are too young to really remember these special people. They won’t remember our long visits in the nursing home. They won’t remember playing with vintage toys at the foot of grandma’s bed and sneaking cookies from the nurses station. They won’t remember rushing the 45 minutes to grandma’s bedside because she had “woken up” from her dementia fog for a few minutes and remembered who she was. They won’t remember jumping in to glacial ice cold water on a hot summer day in Eastern Idaho. Or making Grandma’s legendary homemade marshmallow frosting. They won’t remember trying to sit quietly while Grandpa fished, and making pancakes at the cabin.
And yet they did ALL these things, and more.
And so not only do they carry the legacy of these influential grandparents in their names but their lives can be shaped from these beautiful people even if they have passed on.
We make banana bread on my Great Grandma’s birthday every year. Not only do we make her recipe but as we make it I tell stories about her, and the history of her banana bread pans. My daughter asks questions about her as we bake, and this keeps her memory alive.
Every year in November we do random acts of service for a week to honor my Grandmother who passed away right before Thanksgiving almost 5 years ago. She loved serving others, and this is a way we feel closest to her.
On my maternal grandmother’s birthday we eat Chinese food and go bowling because that is what we have done my entire life on her birthday. Even if we live across the country from the rest of our family. We still celebrate her.
Frequently I read my children stories from my grandparent’s life history and we talk about how we can draw strength and encouragement from their memories and experiences.
And every time I see a cardinal I know that it is a little message from heaven reminding me that I am never alone. I am shaped by these people and my children are too. We talk about them. We celebrate them and we continue to learn from them. And this is how we keep their memories alive.
