When I was a kid, I feel like we just knew who was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. They were usually the kids that were bouncing off the walls in class, called to the nurses office each day to take their meds, and, many times, would come back to class a different kid. They would be calm and, honestly, sometimes zombie-like. Orrrrrr they were never medicated and they were just always the bouncing off the walls and getting sent out of class to sit (er, bounce) in the halls.
For me, this was never an issue. I could sit in class just fine. I could even do the work in class for the most part. It was being able to focus to do homework and socially where I struggled in school.
When I was in my sophomore year of high school, I transferred from a public school to a VERY small religious private school in Aransas Pass. It was a lifesaver for me academically because I was now working at my own pace AND social torment was no longer an issue. However, it also made it so I no longer knew how to learn in a classroom, which made moving on to college a really hard experience…one that I am still paying for at 38 years old.
But I digress…
Like many of us in 2020, I downloaded TikTok as a way to pass the time and bring levity into a very hard year. During that time I have landed on “ADHD Tok” many times. If you type “moms with undiagnosed ADHD” into the search bar, you will find video after video of people talking about the signs and symptoms of ADHD in motherhood. Many of which I identify with so much they often bring me to tears.
Maybe I am not just a crazy person who lets little things send her into an overstimulated rage!!!
But, then I remember these are random people on the internet and (usually) not actually a medical professional, so I will talk myself out of thinking I have ADHD/ADD and then, of course, avoid getting an actual doctor’s input. Because, I mean, if they say “No, you don’t have ADHD, you are a totally normal human with a totally normal brain.” then does that mean that I am just failing when doing things like forgetting dates and appointments, getting irrationally angry over things when I am overstimulated, and constantly feeling like I can not keep up?
But, if they say “yes, you have ADHD/ADD and probably have always had this issue”, would I start to question what I could have accomplished and achieved with interventions earlier?
There is a scene in the show “Mom”, with Allison Janney, where she talks about getting diagnosed later in life and being frustrated that she couldn’t have had help earlier. Would that be how I feel? Or would I just feel relieved one way or the other?
So, all that being said, it is one of my goals for 2023, to make a real appointment with a real doctor and have a real conversation about it. Because, no matter what the “result”, I bet I will leave the appointment with some tools to help – regardless of the diagnosis.
Do you do the TikTok scroll? Do you find yourself being diagnosed, inspired, encouraged, and entertained by the videos?