Where’s my Kimmy Gibbler?

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When I was a teen I had a pretty specific idea of what love and friendship were going to look like as an adult. I always thought that not only did you find your significant other that you would spend life with, but you would also find that friend that you would do life with. I grew up watching the show Full House, and I equated that friend to Kimmy Gibbler.  She comes over unannounced, and becomes so ingrained in your life that you are more like family than simply just friends. But so far in my 37 years, I have not found my Kimmy Gibbler….where is she?

Kimmy Gibbler

I know….I know…. life is not a TV sitcom. So maybe I was setting myself up for failure by putting my expectations of friendship in this context.

The truth is I have seen others find these friendships, and I have often wondered why it seems so much harder for me.

As a teen and young adult, I had different friendships over the years that started to resemble this fantasy that I had for friendship. But unfortunately, I have not always been the greatest friend. I recognize what part I played in friendships that have ended over the years and have done a lot of work on myself to be better.

As I am nearing 40 I often wonder if I have missed my opportunity to find that ONE friend or have friendships with this deep of a bond.

Or if the reality is that I need to reframe the way I view friendships overall? Because the truth is I have some GREAT friendships that I have developed over the years. Some of those friends live hours away and exist mostly online. Some of those friendships are here locally, but we are moms and life gets busy. But I know they are only one (maybe two) texts away.

I will probably never stop wishing for that close, sister-esque friendship. One where our kids grow up together and our families do life together as a tribe. I will continue to be open to this type of friendship, and every time a house goes on the market in my neighborhood I will wonder if my Kimmy Gibbler is going to move in across the street.

But I do not want to be so invested in a fantasy that I forget about the friendships I do have in my life. 

I am making this my resolve to be more intentional with the relationships and friendships I have built. I do not want my fears of rejection or social anxiety to hold me back from investing in the wonderful group of friends that I currently have. Because the truth is…I have already found my Kimmy Gibbler, and she exists in all of the friends I already have. They may not be my next-door neighbors, but in reality, there are so many different ways to do life together. And as we each reach new seasons of life we can be there for each other in other ways!

If you have found yourself lonely in motherhood, and missing friendships I want you to know that you are not alone. Moms often say they feel lonely. Every day in our community group I see moms desperate for friendships and looking for ways to connect. I want to encourage any mom who feels lonely to really plugin, and know that when you invest in people they invest back.

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