When You’re the Only Mom in Your Friend Group

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I’ve had the same core group of friends since high school. We actually met in elementary but it took us until much later to become each other’s ride or dies. We’ve traveled domestically and internationally, attended University in Austin, and braved early adulthood together.

Austin Birthday Party Fun

However, it was when I found out I was pregnant that I reached uncharted territory in my friendships with these women. For 3 years I was the only mom in my friend group, and those friends that have become moms live out of state. As I reflect on this experience, I’ve come to some realizations:

1. You will have FOMO on occasion.

All of my closest friends are living it up in Austin, Texas. I love living in Corpus with my family, but when all your best friends are going out and trying new places together and creating memories without you while you’re at home with chapped nipples and sleep-deprived, it can be a little disheartening. It’s important not to get too caught up in your feelings, however. Feel them and let them pass, knowing you will get to spend time doing fun things with your friends again.

2. You may not have the stamina to keep up when you do go out with them.

Let’s be real, my college days were all about working hard and playing even harder. I’m still amazed at the amount I was able to drink, the time when I went to bed, and still managed to keep my grades up. Now, I’m in bed by 9 pm unless I’ve had one drink which puts me in even earlier. A few weekends ago my friend came down and wouldn’t be here until after 10 pm. Being the child-free beauty that she is, she wanted to pick me up for a drink. I tried to hold out but the truth was I just can’t hang anymore. This brings me to my next point:

3. You will have to let your friends down sometimes.

I have a tendency to be a people-pleaser and the word “no” wasn’t often featured in my vocabulary for a long while. Now that I have my son to look after, I’ve had to be more upfront with friends and family on things I can’t do or frankly don’t want to do. I’m no longer able to pick up and drive 3.5 hours to see them in the middle of a workweek. No, I won’t be able to meet for drinks at 11 pm because they came down on a whim today. Fortunately, my friends understand my demands are different from theirs and there’s mutual respect between us.

4. Some things may not be as important to you as they once were.

In 2019, I was able to go on a trip with my friends to San Diego CA right before my son’s 2nd birthday. We had a blast. I recall getting ready for dinner in the evenings and wearing little to no make-up as I watched my friends doll themselves up in photoshoot-worthy looks. Interestingly, having my son made me more laissez-faire when dressing up, and it was simultaneously freeing and completely different from what I used to do when I got ready based on how I was “supposed” to look when going out.

5. Your friendships will adapt and grow to your newfound motherhood.

I was honestly nervous to tell my friends when I found out I was pregnant. We were all so independent and ambitious that I was scared to be left behind or forgotten about when I traded in long nights going out and partying for long nights staying in and breastfeeding. I should’ve given them more credit. All of them were so happy for me. They threw me the best baby shower with the most useful gifts, and they even got me a spa day right before I went back to work. They’ve been there every step of the way to watch my son grow up and all the milestones that have come along so far. I don’t have any sisters, so these ladies are essentially his aunts from my side.

Friends at an Art Exhibit in ATX

 

While nurturing my relationship with my son is of the utmost importance, maintaining close friendships is also crucial to my well-being. These women have been with me through it all, including my becoming a mother, and it’s important to me that I let them know they’re valued as well. So I implore you, new mothers, once you’ve retrieved some balance back into your life postpartum, get together with your friends. At a reasonable hour, of course.

And for other posts about friendship, you can read more HERE

 

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My name is Brittany Mouttet and I'm a first-generation American on my father's side. I was born and raised in Corpus Christi and have always loved everything about this city. I attended TAMUCC where I earned my BS in Biology. After graduating I immediately started working for the City of Corpus Christi Water Department as a Laboratory Technician. Today I am the Senior Project Manager for the O.N. Stevens Water Treatment Plant, the ONLY drinking water plant that serves Corpus Christi! In 2017 I had my first and only son Saint, and my pregnancy and experience as a new mom led to my starting a podcast called Leading Ladies of Corpus Christi in January 2018. The podcast is focused on highlighting local women making a difference in the community. These women need to be recognized for the amazing things they're doing and creating, and my podcast provides a platform for them to share their stories. My most recent endeavor is becoming a contributor for the Coastal Bend Mom’s Blog and I’m looking forward to learning and sharing with the other incredible people in the community.

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