I always heard…wait until she becomes a teenager. And I remember thinking what does that mean? There were many parents around me who struggled to relate to their teenager. However, at the time I was an Educator for a local non profit and I was around teens all the time. And honestly, I loved being around them. Many of the teens I was around were telling what was in and what wasn’t. I strongly believe since I was around teens daily it helped me be the best mom to my teenage daughter. I learned a lot from many of the students I surrounded with. I firmly believe for you to survive the teen years you have to remember as a parent you are the parent and not the your child’s friend. I saw a lot of parents who struggled with this and at the end of the day it was something I always made my daughter aware of. I believe we could relate on many things, but at the end of the day it was up to me to set the boundaries and the rules for my daughter.
I also had a unique family dynamic since I was co-parenting with my daughter’s father. He and I had a great relationship since our focus was our daughter. My daughter knew because we made it clear we as parents were going to discuss things with one another and we were not going to keep anything from each other when it came to her. My daughter reminded me the other day she knew she was not going to “get away” with anything because she knew we were going to communicate with each other. So if you are parenting with a spouse or co-parenting as parents you owe it to your child to be on the same page with one another. At the end of the day my daughter knew we were going to back one another up and we were on the same page when it came to consequences and expectations.
I also believe communication is also key with your teenager. You need to set clear boundaries, expectations and be able to communicate those expectations to your teenager. I can honestly tell you I enjoyed my daughter’s teenage years. Yes, there were challenging times, but you will make it through. At the of the day you have to remember it’s a season you go through. Be open to learning from other parents and most of all love your child for who they are!!!
Want to hear from other moms of teenagers, check out Mel’s tips on Talking to her teenager. And be sure to join our community of moms at every stage here!