My son had a friend over to play last weekend. The friend’s mom – we will call her F – came over also. As we were talking, F mentioned another friend of hers, Z, who had a child the same age. F said that she and Z had very different personalities and opinions about a lot of things, but they were still good friends and had learned to disagree gracefully with each other. F also said her and Z’s child did not get along. At all. The kids have completely different temperaments and generally weren’t happy around each other.
That struck me as an aspect of mom life I had not heard before: We’re friends, but our kids are not.
Don’t most girls at one time or another fantasize about growing up, getting married and moving in next door to their best friend? They will have babies at the same time, and those babies will grow up together and be best friends forever also
I get that is an extreme idealization. But I don’t think wanting my kids to get along with my friend’s kids is a bad thing. It sure makes it easier when I want to hang out with my gal pal. We moms each have qualities the other enjoys, so surely our kids inherited those qualities also. Right?
How awkward is it when you realize your kids don’t like each other?
Is my kid a jerk? (Of course not.) What’s your kid’s problem? (Cause my kid is great, aren’t they?)
I didn’t pry as to how often F and Z hang out, or if there was a time that they didn’t because of their kids. I applaud them for having the maturity and understanding that their friendship doesn’t necessarily apply to their children. I’ve known people who have had fall outs over less. Of course, as the kids get older, they may learn to like each other.
So, I’m curious: Do your kids get along with your friend’s kids? If not at first, did it get better? Did you stop being friends because your children didn’t get along? I read this article recently about ending friendships because one person has “That” kid, and it got me thinking about the situation between Mom F and Z above.
Do you hang out with a mom whose company you don’t always enjoy because your child and hers are buddies? What advice do you have for another mom who might be in the same situation? Tell us in the comments below.
