This year my husband and I are reaching the 11-year milestone in our marriage. We have had really good and easy years and we have had really hard years. In the last couple of years, I feel like we have really hit our stride, but I knew we needed to continue to be proactive in making sure we were connecting and spending time together.
Sometimes when you are in the weeds with parenting, spending time together can be easier said than done. In 2021 I came across this post from Vermont Mom, Talk Nerdy to Me: How Role Playing Games Made My Marriage Fun Again , and it stuck with me. My husband has always been a PC gamer and I had heard him and his gaming friends talking about starting a Dungeons and Dragons game.
I casually mentioned to him that if they did I would be interested in joining. The joy I saw on his face proved to me that this was the right move, even if I felt completely out of my comfort zone.
Before I knew it, we were creating characters, watching Critical Role, and the date for our first game was set. I was NERVOUS!! What if I was too shy to role-play, what if I hated it, what if I couldn’t keep up with all these experienced gamers??!!
After the first few games, I was HOOKED!!!! I loved it!! It is SO MUCH FUN to play with my husband and his group of friends. Not to mention it has bonded us in so many ways, we have expanded and are now teaching our kids how to play so we have time as a family together.
We have done DIY projects together like building dice boxes, or when we travel we like to go searching for cool dice packs together. And now AT LEAST once a week we sit down together after the kids are in bed and play together for 3 hours with our group.
Maybe a role-playing game like Dungeons and Dragons is not your or your partner’s thing. For us, this was the perfect way to meet each other in the middle and find ways to be proactive in making sure we are connecting and keeping our marriage front and center. But I suggest finding that thing that you and your partner can do to make sure you are connecting and making each other a priority.
I never want to get complacent or comfortable just doing the day-to-day stuff and end up years down the road realizing my husband and I are living more like roommates than partners.