Today I want to talk about the “dumb husband” myth.
Turn on any TV show and the message is clear: Women are smart and boys are stoopid.
Now that I am a grown woman with a husband and 3 sons, I do not think boys are stupid.
I still think they smell. Because dude. They STINK. Sometimes they stink on purpose. To entertain. But that’s another post.
It’s not that I don’t laugh…
I mean — the jokes are funny. But the fact that I laugh doesn’t mean I agree.
My husband is NOT stupid. He is a professional. He has a Master’s degree. (Come to think of it, that doesn’t prove that he is not stupid. Lots of people with Master’s Degrees are dumb as bunnies). Regardless, MY husband is not stupid.
Not only is he well educated, he continually takes classes to improve his knowledge. He reads philosophy and political analysis — FOR FUN. He has a robust grasp of history. One if his favorite topics these days is the genetic migration of peoples around the world.
My favorite topic is Harry Potter.
We make it work.
The thing is, our culture portrays men as absolute buffoons.
On one hand we see the caricature of a “man” – usually portrayed as Southern, heavily armed, and lightly educated.
Then there’s the “Inept Urbanite” – the sophisticated guy dressed like a slacker who makes witty quips but adds nothing to conversation.
“Bumbling Suburban Dad” is on virtually every sitcom. This guy is too stupid to make decisions and is constantly ridiculed by his bossy wife and disrespectful children.
We live in a culture where girls are raised to be women, and boys are raised to be Boyz. Or Baby-Daddies. Or Worse.
Why aren’t we raising men?
Well. I’M raising men. More accurately, WE are raising men. My smart husband and I.
He’s teaching them about genetics. I teach them about Harry Potter.
We make it work.
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I love this!!
I showed this to my husband and he loved it too. Great post, Mary!
Mary Afuso. I love that you are a blogger. I always knew you were smart, talented and super funny. I did not know you could write. And yes, I’m with you. My Husband is not dumb. He is super smart and loves to learn. We are teaching our boys about how cool life is and how there is always something new to learn and do. Experiences help men and women to be smart.
I deal with this constantly. My husband is highly dyslexic, and from a family and church that didn’t value education, but he is far from stupid. And when people talk down to him because his vocabulary and life experiences left big gaps in what he knows, that means he’s uneducated, not stupid. Outs gotten better over our 13 years together as he’s gotten experience with the outside world, but I still want to shake people. Like the stupid nurse who made him call me to get out son’s medical history…he was there for it all too, he’s more than capable to make decisions for our son!
Ma’am:
Thank you so very much for writing this piece. I have become frustrated with this as well. The message of disrespect communicated about husbands and fathers in entertainment today is distasteful. I fear it is destabilizing men’s roles within the family. The depiction of men as browbeaten comedians is not humorous, it’s undermining. I have two daughters and a son. It is important to me that all of them learn to be respectful, ingenious, resourceful, and contributing members of society and their future families. Your message should be disseminated far and wide.
Thank you, again.
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