Cauliflower & Beyond: The Gordita Girls Guide

Channeling one of my favorite Golden Girls, my inner Sophia:

“Picture it, my ranchito 2015 – I saw a recipe for cheesy garlic bread made out of cauliflower. I bought a head of it. Shredded it – by hand on my cheese grater. It was garbage. A lot of work. It was blood, sweat, and tears to make.”

Whether you can relate, you’re just starting out, or even if you’re a cauliPOWER expert, let’s compare notes. Let me prevent you from Pinterest blunders like the one above.

Here’s the skinny on, well, getting skinny (flacita) fingers crossed!

PLACES TO SHOP

• Dollar Tree, frozen section (largest quantity of riced cauliflower by comparison, good quality, use when feeding the whole fam-bam)
• H-E-B
• Walmart
• Target
• Sprouts
• Trader Joes (sorry, the closest one is in San Antonio)

WHAT I’VE TRIED

• Cauliflower Mash (tip: add cheese to thicken it up; even the kiddo eats it)
• Cauliflower Rice
• Cauliflower Fried Rice
• Cauliflower Spanish Rice 
• Cauliflower Risotto
• Penne pasta made from cauliflower
• Spaghetti pasta made from cauliflower
• Cauliflower essential oils – jk – that doesn’t exist, I don’t think
• Cauliflower Wine –  ha! Same as above

THAT DON’T IMPRESS ME MUCH, cue Shania Twain.
These products are sus (teen-speak)

• Green Giant Veggie Hash Browns, literally the size of a deck of cards, boo so tiny for the price 
• Birds Eye Cauliflower Wings, tastes like frozen florets drenched in sauce; no bueno

DINING OUT DO’S

• MOD Pizza, Cauliflower Crust rating –  Da Bomb
• B&J’s Pizza, Cauliflower Crust – it’s Bussin Bussin (teen-speak)
  

MOVING PAST COLIFLOR (CAULIFLOWER)

After my initial cauliflower fiasco, I was like “ooh, ok, I’ll just do veggie pasta!” (after the whole-wheat pasta craze of course). But then –  OMG – those calorie and carb labels when compared to regular pasta were almost the same.

So what’s a gordita to do?

First, I tried “subbing” ingredients, and, to my dismay, here are some of my recipe fails:

• Kale (subbed for tortilla) enchiladas – A hot mess. Just don’t.
• Cabbage Roll type ideas- It might work for you, it didn’t for me (and I love cabbage).

After that, I branched out even further!

From shirataki products to finally finding a “macaroni” pasta, here are the deets. Whatever you are tracking, carbs, protein, low-calorie, please please read the labels. (My specific dietary needs from my dietician focus on low-carb, low sugar, and high protein, so my recommendations are highly guided with this in mind.)

BEYOND CAULIFLOWER GOODNESS

• Shirataki products – can your diet accommodate zero sugar? 0-5 Calories per serving? Yass Girl, You’re welcome!
  • “Rice” Rice with Oat Fiber
  • “Noodles”
  • “Spaghetti” Pasta Zero
  • “Fettuccine” 
• Hearts of Palm Products
  • Palmini Linguine
  • Palmini Lasagna Sheets

• Chickpea Products (protein); I recently found the Banza Chickpea line and WOW!
  (Recipe Win: I made arroz con pollo with the Banza Chickpea Rice)
• Lentil Products (protein)
• More options in the photos!
• Pro-Tip: Forgo frozen and buy the Veggie Spiraler ($6 investment)

By now you know that I have a carb-pasta love affair. What can I say…I grew up having meals with a lot of sides. The other staple of my home was bread. It’s a short-list, but it’s a good list!  

PAN MAS RICO (THE BREAD LIST YA’LL)

• Joseph’s Pita Bread, it’s so soft & yummy; I use it as a tortilla, a pita pocket, or wrap
• La Banderita Carb Lean Tortillas, (low carb & low calorie)
• Trader Joe’s Cauliflower Thins, my only hiccup here is that it’s appx $4 for 4 pieces

I had a carb-dense traditional Mexican-American household upbringing: arroz, fidello, canned veggies, tortillas, and of course frijoles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Even bean sandwiches (on white bread)-YUM! However, that first disastrous experience took me years to overcome and truly make the shift. But I’ve done did it ya’ll! I hope this helps you. I hope you give it a try, but most of all I hope you don’t give up, like I once felt. It’s a journey and I’m here to help. Likewise, I’m here to learn, so share those tips and hints mommas!