Reflecting on 2020

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I don’t know about you, but every time my Christmas decorations start coming out that is when I begin reflecting on the past year. I think about things I wish I had done differently, things that went really well, and what I hope the next year brings. I also wonder if a month’s time is enough to still redeem or make changes to the current year.

Reflecting

This year we are all feeling different; the world was literally turned upside down. I don’t really want to spend time reflecting on 2020, I also feel anxious about making any plans or goals for the upcoming year! It feels a whole lot like “Why Bother!”

If I am honest I think that is how I would sum up my whole 2020 experience…. a whole lot of saying “Why Bother!”

  • My house is a mess but we can’t leave so WHY BOTHER cleaning?
  • I am off my fitness routine, but I can’t go anywhere so WHY BOTHER working out?
  • We are literally doing the same thing today that we have done for the last 30 days so WHY BOTHER even getting dressed?

The list could go on and on! I felt this way a lot in 2020. Which is a stark contrast to how I started out the year. I started out the year with so much hope and anticipation.

Now that 2020 is drawing to a close, how do I even go about planning or looking ahead!

The truth is we do not have a choice, the world does keep spinning and each day the sun rises meaning we have another opportunity to make the day better than the last. I wasted a lot of days this year in a fog, letting my anxiety and depression have more control than they should have.

Each day that you wake up is a new chance…I have been given 13,286 chances in this lifetime. I have been given 13,286 new days.

No matter how awful yesterday was this new year I am promising to myself to remember that I have a responsibility to myself and my kids to make the best of whatever we have been given each day. And maybe yesterday or the whole of the last year did not work out the way we anticipated but we have to keep looking forward. We have to keep making goals and working toward them.

I still feel anxious, and I may start 2021 by making small goals, things that are easily achieved. But I can build on that! As I accomplish small goals I can then set slightly bigger goals. Just because a goal seems simple to someone else, it may be like Mount Everest to someone else.

Most of my year has indeed felt like “Why Bother!” but now that I am ending the year and looking ahead it is starting to feel a whole lot more like “WHY NOT!” and that is something worth celebrating!

If you have had a no-good rotten 2020 please let me offer you this virtual hug. If you have felt suffocated by your anxiety and depression know that you are not alone, many of us have been wrapped in that same fog this year. Some for the first time.

For you, real pants may be the first goal on your list. That is ok, and know you may have to set that goal day after day before you move on, that is ok too! Just keep setting your goals, and remember when you wake up the next day that is a whole new chance to make it a little better than the last. If you keep setting those small daily goals you will find one day that you wake up and “real pants” isn’t a struggle anymore! And know that I and the rest of the Coastal Bend Mommas will be right there to celebrate with you!

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Jennifer
Jennifer is a Coastal Bend Native, born and raised in Ingleside. She began contributing to the Corpus Christi Moms Blog in 2018 and stepped up as the Community Engagement Coordinator in 2019. She is happiest when she is crafting, writing, or doing anything artistic. She loves music, especially ANYTHING from the 90's, and is often seen dancing around the kitchen to Nsync while cooking dinner. She is married to Derik and has two kids, Connor and Keeley (pronounced Key-Lee). Jennifer still feels like a novice when it comes to parenting and enjoys letting other moms know they are not doing life alone. She also admits she watches copious amounts of Netflix, but balances that out by reading to and with her kiddos as much as possible each day.