Wine Culture: Are Moms Drinking TOO MUCH?

Are moms drinking too much? The prelude to this question should/could be: Before Quarantine (B.Q.) or After Quarantine (A.Q.)?

I feel it is only fair to lay all my cards out on the table. In the good ‘ole days (B.Q.) you would find me sipping a beer or glass of red with ice cubes (because I’m am classy; messy bun and leggings included) twice maybe three nights a week.

Currently on Day 46456465464 of Quarantine my  (*cough* [almost] daily *cough*) drinking schedule is somewhat different…

4:30 p.m. Corona Beers (pun intended) go in the freezer 

4:45 p.m. Lime, koozies, and beer salt prepped

5:00 p.m. Dress-up beer because ain’t nobody in this household putting actual clothes on

5:01 p.m. Enjoy!

All joking aside – is this culture fostering alcoholism or encouraging unhealthy coping behaviors in mothers? Maybe. However, it is my belief that this culture is also sending a healthy message to mothers and society in general. What is that message? 

We need a break. 

We need an outlet. 

We deserve to indulge {responsibly}. 

Drinking a glass of wine can be a form of self-care and, in my opinion, that is what this culture is promoting – not alcoholism or substances as a form of therapy. This “wine” culture is promoting mothers to take time out of the day and make a conscious choice to have some “me time.” This could just as easily be coined Bubble Bath Culture or Target Culture. 

Side note: Could we start a Target AND Wine Culture? Asking for a friend. 

Let me be clear: I am not drinking wine to numb parenting, nor am I drinking it to get drunk, or escape reality.

No, I do not need a glass of wine or a beer to get through the day, but there are some days when that cold beer definitely improves my day. The negative perspective society has on wine culture is directly related to society’s determination to make mothers feel guilty or shame for struggling.

Life is messy.

Life is hard.

Motherhood is hard.

Marriage is hard. 

This #momguilt stigma stretches to the all too rare Mom’s Wine Night. I’m not sure who you have been hanging out with, but rarely is it a reenactment of Bad Moms (which society seems to assume). These evenings aren’t centered around getting drunk or slapping the bag, (TBH most times these “wine nights” end by 9:30 p.m. because what do moms like more than their wine? Sleep).

These nights are about community.

They are about coming out of the isolation and realizing that there are others who are struggling the same way you are. 

But you know what is even better about these nights?

Getting to share in each other’s triumphs – no matter how small. Raising a glass to the baby that finally slept through the night or the toddler who went #2 in the potty.

I said it above but I feel that it bears repeating:

Motherhood. Is. Hard. 

And that is okay to admit. Admit it to yourself, to your partner, to your empty glass, to your dog, or to all your dear mama warriors at whine night. So if society says you are drinking too much tell it to mind their own glass.

Here’s the thing: you don’t need the courage that glass of wine gives you –You already have it. You already have everything you need inside you: bravery, strength, patience, grace – you just need a little self-care to help it come to the surface. 

Cheers!

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction or alcoholism please reach out to your local Alcoholics Anonymous. As always, drink responsibly.