I never thought I would die in a JoAnn’s Fabric store, but for forty-five minutes this past December, it seemed like a plausible possibility. Unbeknownst to me, my jerk of a gallbladder decided it would be fun to pass a few stones through my common bile duct and scare my body into thinking it was having a massive, gas filled heart attack. 
The pain was unbearable. I couldn’t walk. Driving would have been a danger to myself and others. Even sending a simple SOS text was agonizing. As I sat with my face down on the pattern book table, sweating like you would not believe, I wondered how long I could sit there without anyone bothering me or calling the police. Because I’m pretty sure I looked like a hot mess of crazy. Half an hour and two sister-in-laws later, I was rescued and eventually able to get to the E.R. (thanks husband) where it was confirmed that I did in fact have traveling gallstones.
How did I not know I had gallstones?
My doctor explained that almost everyone has stones, especially if you’re female or ever been pregnant. (So wait, my kid did 50% of this to me? Christmas is totally cancelled next year!)
Your gallbladder can be a nice comfy home for these stones and you may never know that you have them. Stone sizes can range from as small as a grain of sand to as big as a golf ball. Yes. A golf ball. After you develop these stones, they can either travel out of the gallbladder and cause severe pain or block the bile from exiting which causes inflammation and more pain.
So what are the symptoms of gallbladder trouble?
Since I don’t have a medical degree, I’m pulling from WebMD here, my go-to website for late night self-diagnosis.
Symptoms:
- Pain in your upper right belly that may spread to your shoulder blades
- Pain is severe late at night, usually after midnight, and is strong enough to wake you up if you are sleeping.
- Fever and chills
- Jaundice
Solutions:
If you have a mild attack and your doctor confirms stones, the pain can be treated with pain meds and you may never have to deal with it again. However, if the attacks keep happening, then most likely your gallbladder will have to be removed.
Gallbladder pain is serious business. During my almost four day hospital stay, there were times I wished I was having another baby because:
A) the pain meds were better
B) they pull babies out a lot faster than organs, and
C) babies don’t give you gross jaundice.
So if you’re ever feeling an unusual pain right below your bra line that you think is gas that won’t go away, you should probably go pay a visit to your doctor.
