Let me start by saying that my boys don’t go to school, so I’ve never been on the parent side of school life. However, I did go to school, so I do have the student experience under my belt.
I was a straight A student all throughout elementary school. I remember the pressure I felt to keep up good grades – to the point that my identity rested in whether I performed or not. It wasn’t something anyone ever told me straight up, but it is definitely the message I got from my parents, teachers, and even peers.
My elementary school years were spent in rivalry with two other students. We would take turns being first in the class. We would feel like we were better than the other when we achieved the coveted first place and less than when we didn’t. All the while feeling way better than the rest that didn’t even make the top three!
Side note: I also feel the need to share that keeping up with grades and standardized testing is one of the reasons why we choose to homeschool our boys. So, why am I writing about this? Bear with me, if you will!
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All I want to say is this: Your kid’s grades DO NOT determine their worth and they most definitely DO NOT determine yours as a parent.
Let’s encourage them to try their best in everything they do and if they fail let’s encourage them to try again.
Let’s encourage them to be open to being friends with everyone and not exclude based on grades or rivalries.
Let’s encourage them to talk to us when they’re struggling with grades or anxiety.
Let’s find solutions together instead of letting them carry the weight of our expectations on their own.
Let’s put their well being and our relationship with them above grades and performance.
Please know that this post comes directly from my heart and with ZERO judgment attached. I am just one mom, writing with full understanding that we may have different points of view – points of view that are a direct result of our personal experiences.
I just want to remind you, from one mama to another, that a number on a test is just that and that at the end of the day health and kindness and respect towards ourselves and others are worth A LOT more!
Good luck to all your kiddos taking tests and to you Mamas standing right alongside them!
I love this! As a teacher, I always tell my students: grades do not define you!
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