Why I Want a Second Child

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I am a new mom to a beautiful 7 month old baby girl. Inevitably one of the top questions my wife and I get asked is are we going to have another child. The answer is yes, but for us this is a complicated question. 

My half brother and I grew up in different households. Although we were never kept apart, we never really had a relationship until both of us were older. Within recent years we have become very close, but not for lack of work. As I went into college we both made an active effort to call each other, visit often (we live in different states) and be an integral part in each others lives. 

On the flip side my wife has three sisters and two brothers. There may be days where I am overwhelmed with her big family but there is a small part of me that is jealous of her relationship with them. The annoyance of her sisters borrowing clothes (aka stealing them) or memories of when her younger siblings were babies. The rough housing, family jokes, and always having someone to talk to makes me wish I had siblings in the house when I was younger.  

Krystal and I do not want six children, that is not for us. We do want at least one or two more. We want at least one boy, but also because we have talked about having a child with my genetics. 

If you are confused, go and read this post on how Krystal and I conceived of our daughter. The brief version is Amelia (our daughter) was conceived via Reciprocal IVF. Meaning we used Krystal’s egg combined with donor sperm and I carried her. 

When we decide the time is right to have another child, our options are endless, which is such a privilege and also so overwhelming. Let me preface this by saying, Krystal has no desire to carry a child, so more than likely I will be carrying our children. We can use one of the 9 remaining embryos and have a child 100% genetically related to Amelia. We could use one of the 4 vials of sperm with my egg and have a child that is 50% genetically related to Amelia and shares my DNA (the donor would be the same). There is also the option to pick either a male or female embryo of Krystal’s should we want to guarantee that we have a boy. Let me tell ya science is pretty amazing! 

How we decide to have another child is such a personal decision for me. I look at Amelia and realize that DNA has no weight over the fact that I am 100% percent her mother. My blood runs through her veins, she grew inside me and although we may not have a genetic bond, she is my daughter and I don’t need DNA to prove that. So why not have another baby just like her? Yes a thousand times yes. 

But there is this human curiosity of what a baby would look like with my DNA. There is also, of course, the age long idea of carrying on the family tree, even though Amelia shares my last name. Will a child with my DNA look like me? Amelia is the spitting image of Krystal and I love that!  I also worry that a baby with my DNA might not be as cute? What if Krystal’s family doesn’t love a baby with my DNA as much as Amelia? Would Krystal still feel a connection to a baby she didn’t carry and doesn’t have a genetic connection to?! 

There is so much inner turmoil but yet so much joy in deciding how to continue to create a family. 

Are you going to have another child? Hopefully yes. How are you going to have another child? To be determined.

Why do you want a second child? 

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Madison is a Texas A&M Graduate who is beginning her 6th year as a Technical Theatre teacher and 3rd year at Gregory-Portland High School. She and her wife moved to the coastal bend to be closer to family as they began the fertility process to grow their family. Madison and her wife were thrilled to welcome their daughter, Amelia, to the family in May via Reciprocal IVF. Madison has also begun working toward her Masters degree in Educational Administration at TAMUCC (gotta keep it in the Aggie family!) Talk about one busy mama! Madison enjoys time outside and has always loved to write for her own personal blog in her free time. She is so excited to start this new adventure of motherhood and to be joining the wonderful community of Corpus Christi Moms on the blog!