2021 is going to be a BIG year of FIRSTs and LASTs for me (and my daughter).
It’s her senior year and I am seriously NOT ready.
I didn’t think I was going to be so emotional but when I took her to get her senior yearbook photos a few weeks ago — I totally lost it inside the studios. [Of course I made a tiktok about it. @txufchica]
It wasn’t even an eventful photoshoot — she was wearing jeans – but when she put on the black drape thing and they added pearls — the tears just started streaming down my face.
For those of you who have read some of my past blogs – you may recall I have two older bonus daughters (from my husband’s previous marriage). Today they are 28 and 26. But when they were seniors we lived in Texas and they lived in Washington state — the relationship was very strained at the time. As a result, I did not get to participate in any of the “senior” things as a parent.
This could be why — I am even more emotional over our 17 year old’s senior year.
As I am writing this blog — there are so many things to think about for this year.
- SAT preparations
- College acceptance
- Senior all white mum
- Senior photos with the cap & gown, tassel those dreaded cords
- What should her curfew be this year?
- Will there be a senior skip day (do they still do that)?
- How many days are left before she leaves the nest.. and truly becomes her own person?
- Have we taught her enough?
- Did we do this parenting thing right?
URGH… mommas — I’m kinda freaking out.
I made her a poster to hold up on the LAST first day of school. As I was designing it and looking through all of the “first day of school” photos — I started crying (again).
It’s not that I think I am losing her — because I know I am not. We have a good relationship and I think she knows she can rely on us for guidance, support and love. It’s just the finality of it all. After she graduates high school — she has many things she can do and be. But ultimately those are her decisions — she will be an adult. It is HER career she will be planning, HER life she will orchestrate, and I will no longer be the driving force — SHE will.
It is amazing to know that just a few short years ago — she was a cute sassy little thing. I was the one who picked out her first day of school clothes, cool backpack and matching lunch box.
I have such amazing memories of my senior year — and I can’t wait to witness Nina experience her senior year and make her own memories.