Teeth are Gross. And What’s with Our Tooth Fairy?

My oldest's most recent loss
My oldest’s most recent loss

Teeth gross me out! I could NEVER be a dentist! All that scraping  and drilling! Yuck! Gag! 

I figured since I didn’t not choose that career path, I’d be set. No nasty teeth dealings (other than my own 2 yearly visits) for me! Ha!

I somehow forgot that when you have kids, teeth come into the picture.

Sure, I was able to handle the cute little toothy smiles they had when they were infants, especially my youngest’s vampire grin. I mean, look at it, how could you not like that? So stinking adorable, right?(I better not look too long, cause it will make this mommy want another baby and Lord knows I can’t handle it!)

My littlest with his "vampire smile"
My littlest with his “vampire smile”

But now that my oldest has just lost his 3rd tooth, I’m getting into that stuff that really grosses me out.

Is it just me, or does a dangly tooth that moves every time my kid talks, eats or breathes just nauseating? He just sits there and plays with it, moving it around with his fingers or tongue. Barf! Luckily for me, he is a big weeny and won’t let us pull it. He likes to wait until nature takes its course and it falls out on its own. I didn’t realize that those little suckers are in there pretty good, as this process of waiting can be a lengthy one! But, this does come at a cost because he is starting to look a little like a shark, with 2 rows of teeth! In a few places, his adult teeth are coming in behind the baby ones. I would have thought that the new teeth would push the old ones out.  But so far, no such luck! Every time I look at his “rows” of teeth, I see orthodontic dollar signs blinking in my head. So I decided, after weighing my disdain of teeth vs. the ever increasing future orthodontic bill, that I would pull the most recent loose tooth. That was a fiasco! Hands and feet (both his and mine) flailing around. Terror in his eyes and absolute disgust in mine!

Thankfully though, in all the flailing around, he bumped into my hand, which in turn, bumped into his dangling tooth and knocked it out.

And now… he has several other loose teeth. Apparently the flood gates were opened with this last tooth he lost. Oh goodie… NOT! I see round two (and three, four, five, etc.) in my future. Maybe this time, I can get my hubs to do the honors of pulling (or knocking, like I did) them out.

But gross dangly loose teeth aside, can we talk about the “tooth fairy” a minute? The ding dong lady has only graced our house three times and she has screwed up ALL THREE times!

The first time she forgot and had to come the next night. The second time, she didn’t leave enough money (per my son,) and the third time, she didn’t have any cash, so she had to leave a “tooth fairy certificate” for a book my son wanted at the book fair.

Sheesh, if she had any other job, she’d be fired by now! I can only hope I, er, I mean the “tooth fairy” can get it right from now on. I mean, pull it together lady!  It isn’t like she is an exhausted mom of 2 who has a million other things to do and think about each day (and leaving cash under her kid’s pillow in the dead of night, praying she doesn’t wake them up, is the last thing she thinks about)….oh, wait, I guess she is!

What is the going rate for a tooth these days though? I’m only asking because unless ours didn’t get the memo, it seems that my son’s friends must have a different tooth fairy than the one that visits us.

The other tooth fairies seem to be loaded… or maybe she has night blindness and pulls out the wrong bills from her wallet in the dark. Our tooth fairy ain’t leaving no $10 or $20 for a tooth like some of my son’s friends get. Ours only leaves measly little $3 or $4 depending how much cash said tooth fairy had on hand or could scrounge up. And she is not opposed to using coins! She just makes sure they don’t rattle as they are gently, but swiftly put under my sleeping boy’s head. I’m not speaking from experience or anything….wink, wink!

Regardless of my weak stomach for teeth and my constant need to remind the “tooth fairy” to have cash on hand and do her job, I’m gonna have to accept the fact that my firstborn is growing up way too fast for my liking and going through this (gross) right of passage. I guess I’ll  just sit back and enjoy that ever changing “toothy” smile of his.

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Kathie is blessed to be a stay-at-home mom to two silly, handsome and loud boys. The ringing in her ears proves just how loud they are! For almost 11 years, she has been happily married to her high school sweetheart, the biggest hunter and fisherman you'll ever meet. All is great until the season starts and Kathie becomes a hunting widow. Kathie's boys share her husband's obsession with the outdoors, which allows her some much needed time to herself. Kathie loves all things pink, sparkly and monogrammed. She dreams of her next vacation and desperately wants to move to the mountains one day, even though she probably wouldn't last 5 minutes there in the winter. When she has time, she obsessively watches Hallmark Channel movies, especially ones with Candace Cameron Bure.


  1. You crack me up!

    My oldest daughter once claimed, when she was about eight or nine years old (she’s 35 now), that the dollar (yes dollar), she got under her pillow smelled like my purse! What? Seriously now.

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