Coed Teen Birthday Parties: A Guide of Sorts


The middle school to high school transitional ages are something else. It’s a beast. It’s exciting. It’s worrisome. Here is my experience from her 14th birthday party. 

We are a Hispanic household. Okay – daughter’s dad is half white, half Hispanic (we also have joint custody). Culture, traditions, customs, obviously vary due to many factors in every family. I decided to host a simple at-home shindig for the big 1-4. This was based on the fact that Grandma and kiddo decided we would plan a “quince” the big 1-5 the following year versus a sweet 16. I made the simplest party checklist ever.

That’s right ya’ll, BOYS came to my house without me having a heads up. For my household growing up, boys were just OFF LIMITS for my momma (this of course had an adverse reaction, but that’s a story for another day). 


OMG! These other mommas put their trust in me to watch out for their daughters and NONE of us had a heads up. My cake lady cancelled, so I have to make a 1-hour round trip into “town” to pick up the new cake during the party but now I can’t because boys. 


YELL! SCREAM at her! Embarrass her in front of her friends. It doesn’t matter that it’s her birthday. This is your house. These are your rules. Err…. wait a minute – do I have rules on this?

Default programming is a term I learned about in a personal growth system that is rooted to our reactiveness that may be pre-set from early experiences, upbringing, and environmental factors.  I’m so grateful that I went through that program. I have been able to apply it to many areas of my life; especially being a mom. I’ve now moved into active programming. Where I’m intentionally and actively making choices and using words that enhance the results I want. Which is to be a stellar mom, have strong lines of communication with my teenager, and raise an exceptional kid. 


  • Beg cake lady to meet me half-way
  • Greet all teens and try to be “cool” but not too cool
  • Secretly call my inner circle of peeps
  • Decide to have that talk with her privately after I’ve had time to reflect and rationally think


  • Uhhh definitely ask clarifying questions
  • My kid simply views other kids as “friends” boy or girl, hey that’s pretty cool
  • Establishing a rapport with those kids (boy or girl) in her circle has had a very rewarding impact for us all
  • Definitely decide what other teens should call you BEFORE they show up at your doorstep
  • These are conversations I probably should have had sooner, but HEY – when is the “right” time? 
  • My kid feels comfortable with me, our home, our dynamic, and it works even better now
  • My nachos are BUSSIN’ 

Moms, what thoughts, feelings, experiences, or questions do you have to share on the topic of coed teen birthday parties? Please please don’t get caught off guard like I did. 



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